coming to terms with an adhd mind

dreams so high like kites so tantalizingly real. grounded by a wisp of string so you know it's possible. yet floating adrift with the chance of breaking free and touching space. chase you and i do follow the fluttering fabric in the sky, running about in all different directions not knowing where we might end up. but forever we are bound to the earth. until space stations give us more ground to cover, we must content ourselves with terra firma brown dirt. red soil will have to wait, perhaps for another generation. the hardest working and luckiest of the best and brightest will make towers that stretch to the stars but no matter how great our heights we will never reach the moon, at least for long.

it's not sitting alone in a field looking up and admiring the expanse, marvelling at the minuteness of us and the breadth of everything else. it's realizing that we are big and our actions and achievements are big but not quite big enough.

of course it's worth it to make it at least halfway up the climb to the neptune. so we can admire all that lies below our past. but the future is always up and beyond. time travel never works in scientific realistic minds because of the numbers and correlations the causations and infinite loop of the universe. but to idealistic and romatic minds it's because our whole notion of life would be racked and torn down. what we reach towards is destiny but who really wants to touch the end of the rope who really wants to know there's a finale to it all? it's the unknown that keeps us pushing down doors of the observed. it's the possibility and the chance of redemption it's why we believe in god.

soar too high icarus and he will burn and fall, lie there and burn. but it's the old man who has to live with the guilt or is it guilt? perhaps it is jealousy that wrenches his mind. makes him cry is not regret for son but regret for father. why we fly high when we could just as well have ran through the plains with the gazelles is because we don't like running with the lions and other kings of the jungle. we are beyond the desert and more than the tundra. we wait for another space afixiation so that one day we might chase literally our dreams once again.

earth is boring i want to be a martian and learn to live all over again.

the big tuna

eleven pound bass! eleven pound bass!

swindled at the airport

look what the cat dragged in oh whoops there it goes gone with the wind

the demise of peter rabbit

he thought anything was possible out of the hole he climbed and into the light and cool of morning eager to stretch his legs after being below ground for so long. through the garden he raced his bare feet landing pitter patter on the soft soil damp with dew. he was looking for something for something towards something he raced ears perked but not paying attention really. it was as he rounded the bend and appeared in front of the porch that he was shot.

on the ground he lay and looked at the sky, blue, creased with clouds, and he would die with his eyes open.

she doesn't believe in ghosts

i open the bathroom door open the light and walk in
i fall to my knees and clutch the sink table but still the room spins
step to the toilet stumbling bumbling almost smashing my head
on the piss-stained rim and it's so heavy my brain feels like lead
nothing getting through nothing registering just nothing
flash black to her i'm smiling she's blushing
suddenly my heart leaps out from my throat and splatter
all over my arms and dripping into the bowl of fecal matter
the door's half open and the boom from outside
makes it in all dark here no light i fight
the urge to hiccup another meal
won't take long to heal just another shot to end the pain i feel