if you want to leave

if that's the way you feel. if what we had was memories and if those mean nothing to you. if walks were just feet in motion if talks were just mouths and lips moving. if nights were just the time before day. if the smiles and laughs the frowns and screams the go away i never want to see you again come back i can't live without you if they were just words we echoed from movies and not from our hearts then leave.

pack your bags and leave. but know that i can't stay either. the walls we painted ourselves remember the puke green we splashed yellow over laughing as we wondered what the last owners were thinking painting a living room such a rotten color. the furniture we spent weeks picking out me wanting to tell you to hurry up but not saying anything because i knew how much it meant to you. at the end you convinced me that it was worth it all those hours from ikea to linen n things to bed bath n beyond back to ikea comparing prices online almost buying it from that one site before we found another with free shipping. it was worth it you said and i believed because this is our future if we're going to get chairs and tables and desks and dressers we need them to be perfect not just enough for today but enough for tomorrow. you said and i believed.

sweep our pictures from the dresser to the ground let the moments shatter with the glass. tear them from the wall strip them naked after all the months we spent dressing them together me hanging a picture you yelling at me its not straight over and over finally you say perfect then i sit back down with you on the bed to admire a crooked picture just kidding you said you had it perfect the first time. and i laughed and you laughed and we kissed and we left the picture like that.

break the mirror we spent every morning in front of brushing our teeth you combing your hair me shaving my beard smash the television i spent so long convincing you was worth buying throw the video games you hate so much against the wall.

break it smash it throw it all away.

and leave with me.